Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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