Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
