I never want to see another naked old woman again.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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