She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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