i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
