Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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