Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
