Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
