just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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