i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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