Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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