btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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