Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
