yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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