Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
now i know why i became what i already was.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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