she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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