i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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