I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
