I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
