I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
