So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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