well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
pop tarts are not kleenex
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
