So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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