Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
