I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
