It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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