I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
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When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she peed on how many people?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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