No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
