thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
