If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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