he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
