My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
