She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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