I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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