I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
