More tranny stories later!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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