I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
4 words: hood of his car
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
