Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
