I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
