just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
