We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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