Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
