Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
