I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
