Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
