Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
