Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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