all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
