Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
