Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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