i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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