then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Randomize
