if i can run in heels then i can drive
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We had sex on a dog bed..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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