i barfeds in our rink
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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