handjob tips. give me some.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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