Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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