Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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