so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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