the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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