I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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