She announced her abortion via fbk
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
