yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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