I'm going to jail i love you
...so i touched it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
