your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
