I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am available for nakedness
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
